Ava is doing great and there hasn't been much to report, so I thought I would spend a minute or 10 (40, as it turns out) telling you all about our experience at St. Jude thus far.
I have long had an aversion to medical environments - funny, since my two siblings both work in the medical field. I can't explain why, except that the tile floors, fluorescent lights, and windowless rooms feel like the opposite of being outside, which is my natural habitat. Additionally, the terminology of this space doesn't stick with me. In the past, I've gone to a Dr. appointment for myself or my children and walked out retaining none or very few of the words that are necessary to understanding whatever illness or malady we were dealing with. I have to concentrate very hard to remember what I need to know, or write it down.
However, all of this is changing here at St. Jude. To me this aspect of the place stands out the most. Every single person we have come across who is employed here is eager to answer and patient with questions. This generosity ranges from the people serving food to the head surgeon. They create an environment of teaching and compassion. When I arrived, I knew next to nothing about cancer, and it suddenly became very important for me to learn a lot, so I have asked many, many questions. The Drs and nurses are so, so patient and thorough. They (most) are able to read the energies of the room and meet us where we are. Most importantly, they talk to Ava and give her space to ask anything. I cannot to describe to you how important it is that St. Jude has created a culture of teaching and compassion.
We are often greeted by strangers/employees with smiles and friendliness. When you are walking around a new space bearing the weight of terrible news (a very sick child), this warmth is incredibly valuable and it has enabled us walk through these days with more grace than should have been been possible. I have remarked often that either these people are either paid well or believe an incredible amount in their daily work. Most likely it is both/and - I hope it is. It really does feel like a place where people don't dread being at their job, and we have heard the stories of several people who were here as patients when they were children and fulfilled their lifelong goal of returning to work at St. Jude as adults. It says something that Ava is currently stating she wants to be an oncologist when she grows up.
A beautiful moment: one of Holly's special treats to herself is get a Starbucks several times a week (thank you to everyone who has sent gift cards!!). Last week, she was in line and our favorite nurse practitioner jumped in line and bought her coffee. Whenever we run into members of the staff (office workers, nurses, and doctors) treating Ava outside of the office, they stop to ask how she's doing and speak to her directly. I've never experienced anything like it before.
It would be silly to skip over the fact that we are in the absolute nicest medical facility I have ever seen. It is immaculate, well-maintained, and cutting edge. Even the landscaping is lovely and that means so much to some of us who are here. When Ava was inpatient last weekend, her unit in the hospital was unbelievable - not just the equipment, but the centering on making the space interesting and comfortable for kids.
I could write a lot more about St. Jude. I am losing steam on this post, but I must add one more thing, in case you don't know and that is that we are here for free. If this space didn't exist, and if we hadn't been referred and accepted, these medical bills for Ava's treatment would break us, as they would any regular family. I'd heard of St. Jude before we came. I've seen the fundraisers and I might have even thrown some pennies into a designated jar by a cash register. After this experience, I will be a lifetime supporter of this place. I will never forget the generosity of individuals and corporations who are making this possible. I will donate that extra dollar at the grocery store and I will send a check annually. I will tithe to this place that facilitates healing. I encourage you all to do the same, as you are able.
Being here has made the reality of Ava's cancer more bearable.
(***It feels necessary to clarify that so far neither Holly nor Daddy Bo have expressed interest in relating their words on this blog, so it's just me saying the things that I think are of importance.)
