A Thank You Note

Dear Friends,

I have been laboring mentally over this post for a long, long time and now I feel it is overdue.  I just don't know how to say it well, or how to say it big enough, or how to cover it all.  The task seems too large to accomplish in any sort of meaningful fashion.

Also, to our credit, we are still dealing with some pretty intense aftermath of medical trauma, so the journey part of all of this is not over.  We rejoice with each clear scan, but we also are reminded daily of Ava's PTSD in other ways.  And, we are still learning about "secondary trauma."

But, the task remains:  how do we say thank you?

How can we possibly say the right words to convey how thankful we are for the varied and vast ways that you - our community - supported our family?  You should know:

Because of your care packages sent to St. Jude, a little girl with cancer named Ava smiled each day.
Because of the money you raised for us, we worried minimally about spending so many months away from our jobs.
Because of your prayers, we were comforted.
Because of the tshirts you purchased (and the wonderful family who made them at their dining room table), our bills were paid.
Because of your visits, we were revived and re-energized.  
Because you stocked our refrigerator, we were able to stay home and recuperate.
Because you took care of our house (including getting a huge tree removed, lawn mowed, house cleaned, etc.), we could be present at St. Jude with the process of treatment.
Because of your texts, calls, emails, and social media comments, Ava and her family were encouraged and uplifted.  
Because of the fundraisers you hosted (car washes, bracelet sales, tshirts, store profits, benefit concerts, and more), we were able to devote emotional/mental energy to getting Ava well.
Because you took care of our other children and our pets, our focus remained on support for Ava.
Because of your #squadupforAva posts, we felt connected and less alone.  
Because you donated money to our family, our extra plane tickets to/from Memphis were covered. 
Because of those of you who welcomed us home by lining our road and cheering for Ava, we have felt included in this community like never before.
Because you made the quilts, we were kept warm in ways both physical and emotional.  
Because you communicated with us, checked in, and kept us updated about "real life" - we remained sane.
Because you sent gift cards, we enjoyed small luxuries which kept us hopeful.
Because you sent (and send) donations to St. Jude, the amazing care they provide us can continue.
Because you sent us care packages, we were provided with the daily essentials we lacked and some extra goodies to keep our minds occupied.
Because you welcomed into your home family members from the blended other side, we were united in one cause, one mission: to get Ava better. 
Because you took care of us, we now know how to act when families are in crisis. 
Because you rallied around Ava, she kept hope and stayed connected.
Because you rallied around our entire family, we made it through.

As a write this list, I know I will forget something - an act, a moment, words, a donation, a person who did an amazing thing.  I will neglect someone and I'm sorry.  This is one of the reasons I've put off writing this post, because I dread the one or more people/kindnesses I'll unintentionally leave out.  There is no way I can possibly thank you each personally for each individual thing you did for us.  Some close friends assured us that you all did not expect thank you notes and we took these words to be true, with great relief.  We simply could not keep up - did not have the emotional energy.  We tried keeping a list for awhile, but were distracted from that habit as well. 

But when I say we are grateful, you have no idea how much we mean it.  From the biggest gifts (which paid our entire mortgage payment) to the smallest (which contributed towards other bills/expenses), each kindness and generosity mattered to us and it blessed us beyond comprehension.  We received each gift with humility and astonishment.  It was and is overwhelming to be the recipient of such generosity.

And, to be absolutely clear, the gifts I am referring to are not just financial or material.   Your spoken and written words were gifts, your smiles and hugs were gifts, your presence on our road to welcome Ava home were a gift, your support was a gift.  There were so many types of gifts given to us, and each was a blessing beyond measure; each mattered the same to us. 

Most of all, I need you to know how much your gifts were significant to us in terms of community.  You see, our family has always felt just a little bit on the outside.  Even our children are aware of this.  I'm not "from here" and because our family is also non-traditional, it's easy to fall into a way of thinking which designates us as different.  I want you to hear this though: that feeling, that mindset of being an outsider, it shifted this past year.  We will never be the same, on so many levels. 

Our local community was absolutely incredible in the ways that you showed up for our family - you raised money, you cheered us on, you kept in touch. And not just our friends, but acquaintances and strangers walked with us through the difficult months.  The financial support was HUGE for us, but even more so was the feeling of inclusion - that our family was a part of this larger collective of good people.  I cannot describe adequately how much this meant to us. 

Additionally, those of you aren't here in East TN - those who live outside of our small community - y'all showed up for us too.  Those of you that we've shared space with before and some of you who just know our people - y'all were here for us.  I am overwhelmed when I think of all the names and faces who were present for us.  I believe that generosity of all kinds blesses both the receiver AND the giver and I hope this has been true for each of you. 

Thank you for the gifts.  Thank you for the prayers.  Thank you for the kind words.  Thank you for blessing us with the gift of community.  Thank you for loving Ava and all of us. 

This post still feels inadequate and unfinished, but I think I should let it go for now.  Please accept these words as the most sincere "thank you note" I can muster.

We are grateful for you.