December Scans

Last week, Ava had scans here in Johnson City to make sure a suspicious spot in her abdomen was not dangerous.  It wasn't and she is still all clear!

Ava has been dreading this appointment for months, due to the necessary needle stick for the IV contrast and subsequent bloodwork, since her port ("Wilbur") was removed in October.  Her anxiety was absolutely justified considering what she has been through with needles and hospitals in general these last 6 months.  I wish I could say the needle poke went well - it didn't.  Her trauma/PTSD is most evident in these moments.  Fortunately, the nurse heard us, assessed Ava's state appropriately, and immediately brought in an ultrasound machine and a technician who found a vein and connected the first time.  We are so thankful for hospital staff who listen to parents as we advocate for our children.  This is not true across the board. 

After the poke, the day went smoothly - Ava was delightful and so very happy to be done with the dreaded needle.  She got to meet JB the therapy dog and talked the ear off of JB's human.  The staff at the St. Jude affiliate wanted to celebrate with us too, and they showered Ava (and Bo and Lily!) with presents and party hoopla.  We are quite fond of these wonderful people. 

We have been communicating regularly with Ava's team - the St. Jude staff, her therapist, and pediatrician in order to attempt to provide the best care for Ava as she deals with the aftermath of her trauma.  One of the steps that we are taking to help Ava integrate back into normal life is giving her a small dose of *Zoloft.  We have learned that most children post-cancer need a little "brain medicine" to help them navigate changes and process through their various traumas. This low dose is intended to take the edges off just a little bit and to provide her with an extra bit of calm while her brain heals.  We haven't seen marked differences since she began the medicine, but it usually takes a couple weeks to get into our systems.

--(*In our house, we choose not to adhere to cultural norms which tell us to be ashamed of needing therapy and/or medicine to help us navigate difficult situations and chapters of our lives.  We seek to dismantle ideologies which say that perfection is the standard and that we must present a false image in order to fit in.  So, we try to talk about the ways we are struggling and highlight the routes that we take to do our work to be healthy and whole.  While it may make some people uncomfortable to see through the rosy pictures into the real stuff - the hard stuff - this honesty and authenticity also provides permission for others to ask for the help they need.  So, we are gonna keep doing what we do...)--

Ava's re-entry into school has been amazing.  We cannot brag enough about her teachers, administration, and staff.  Though she has some typical struggles, overall it really does feel like is caught up with her classmates.  Most mornings, she even looks forward to school. 

As the year's biggest holiday approaches, we have so much gratitude, while also looking forward to the dawn of a new year - one which hopefully will not hold so much turbulence and difficulty.